The Growing Pains of Transition
Transition: "the process or period of change; a shift from one state to another."
What if a transition is not about shifting into someone new but rather about growing into the person you were designed to be? What if a transition is simply about returning to your highest self and showing up better every time, even when you make a mistake or fall?
Have you ever been in a situation where you suddenly have what you've been asking for but feel ill-prepared for it? You wanted the new job, but you're struggling with the workload? You wanted the relationship but feel like you have no more time for just you. To top it all off, you feel a sense of guilt for having what you asked for, yet you still feel anxious about the season that was?
Transition is the in-between phase. It's the hover of leaping over a gaping chasm to set foot on the other side, with one foot still anchoring you to the past. Transition happens daily...embracing it and exploring it through the principle of curiosity is where I believe most of us struggle.
Verywellmind.com highlights part of the difficulty of transitions is attributed to the unknown that we face. Having said all this, how do we ease that transition period?
Cultivate mindfulness. In the present moment, thoughts aren't controlled by the "what ifs" of the past or the future. Find ways to channel your thoughts constructively. Remember that mindfulness is paying attention to the present moment, all the while with nonjudgemental awareness. I love emindful.com's elaboration on this, as they highlight that mindfulness is also "a worldview replete with attitudes that can help us shoulder life's vicissitudes."
Cultivate the principle of curiosity. This is part of mindfulness practices. Curiosity allows you to embrace the unknown and immerse yourself in that transition period. The author of Eat Pray Love, Elizabeth Gilbert, describes curiosity as a gentle, forgiving friend that "teaches us how to become ourselves." Curiosity allows you to take a moment to really look at something and see it for what it is, not what you think it is.
Slow down during the transition. No process or transition can be rushed. You don't know everything during this period, and that's the reality.
Keep the end goal in mind. If your transition is leaving a familiar environment, it's exciting to explore something new, despite the challenges. The challenges are still there, but you can now face them from a stance of strength and victory rather than the sense of dread or defeat that comes with fear.
Lean on your support. I often draw away from those closest to me, thinking I must shoulder the transition alone. Remember, you are responsible for reaching out to the people who care about you to let them know where you're at. Every time I have turned to my tribe for support during a transition period, they have encouraged me, given wise perspective and prayed for me. Every single time. This eases a transition period tremendously.
Allow your thoughts to be just that...thoughts. The principle of "morning pages" I learned from the author Julia Cameron introduced through "The Artist's Way" has been life-changing. This is different to journaling. This is literally taking our thoughts and spilling them onto the pages first thing in the morning. This clears my head for the rest of the day because I've dealt with my thoughts, and I'm less tangled in them.
As you transition, I'd like to leave you with this thought from Amy Rubin.
"She knew this transition was not about becoming someone better, but about finally allowing herself to become who she'd always been."
As you transition through different periods and moments in life, know that you're allowing yourself to become more of who you have always been designed to be.