Village People

2020 Was the year we saw how much we crave connection. It's in our DNA. We need social support beyond our immediate family, as highlighted by the "village effect." Popularised by Susan Pinker, the village effect emphasises the power of solid, in-person connections that extend our social circle.

Countless studies demonstrate these close bonds contribute to a happier, healthier life. Strong social networks can bolster our immune systems, reduce stress, and even lengthen lifespans (so yes, honey, your bestie is life). They also provide emotional support, combat loneliness, and boost cognitive development in children, which is why children learning to navigate the dynamics of friendships is so important.

Family is crucial, but the village effect reminds us we need more than the families we are born into. Here's why:

  • Fresh Perspectives: Family interactions can be intricate. Trusted friends or mentors outside the family offer a safe space for different viewpoints and honest feedback.

  • Shared Experiences: When you think about your friends, the first thing that comes to mind is the memories you made and how you felt with them, right? Whether it's a shared hobby or going through similar life stages, friends and community members offer camaraderie and understanding that families may not always provide.

  • Expanded Skillsets: As women, we tend to want to show that we have it all together, but we all have strengths and weaknesses. We can't do this thing called life alone. A strong village lets us tap into the expertise and resources of others, enriching our lives as we provide mutual support.

    Building your village requires effort in today's world.

  • Join a Club: Find activities you enjoy and meet like-minded people.

  • Volunteer: Giving back connects you with others who share your values.

  • Nurture Existing Bonds: Make time for friends, neighbours, or former colleagues.

  • Be Open: Be bold and connect with new people daily.


    Building a village takes time, but the rewards are immense. Greater happiness, resilience, and a sense of belonging await. We need that connection with others. Brené Brown describes connection so beautifully. "I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship."  You might be surprised by the strength and support that real connection brings to your life.

Photo by Elina Fairytale

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